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The more you listen to and validate your spouse’s thoughts and feelings, the more connected you will feel.
The final step toward true intimacy and deep connection in a relationship takes place when you empathize with your spouse. Greg Smalley serves as the Vice President of Marriage at Focus on the Family.
We welcome serious volunteers who are willing to spend the time each week to translate the lessons from English into another language.In this role, he develops and oversees initiatives that prepare individuals for marriage, strengthen and nurture existing marriages and help couples in marital crises.Prior to joining Focus, Smalley worked for the Center for Relationship Enrichment at John Brown University and as President of the …Here’s a list gleaned from eqi.org, a site about emotional intelligence, of things people say — some intentional, some unintentional — to invalidate a spouse: • “You’re so sensitive.” • “That’s ridiculous. Validation is modeled in marriage when we safely allow our spouse to share his or her thoughts and feelings.The message is that it’s OK to think or feel the way he or she does.
When you validate your spouse, you recognize, value and accept his or her deepest thoughts, opinions, ideas, beliefs and emotions. You shouldn’t let it bother you.” • “You should be over that by now.” That is a pretty sobering list.