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“We keep thinking there are endless choices, that maybe someone better will come along,” she said.“But at the end of the day, people who don’t choose are going to end up lonely because they’re not in a relationship.Online dating and social media have revolutionized how we look for love.USC Dornsife’s Julie Albright reveals how this digital technology has far-reaching effects on our health and well-being.The loneliness paradox Online dating creates the idea that there are thousands of romantic possibilities available to us.However, that brings problems of its own, Albright warns, because when faced with a vast array of choices, paradoxically, we’re unable to choose.Online dating is now the second or third most common way — depending on age — for Americans to meet romantic partners.In Albright’s upcoming book, Left to Their Own Devices: How Digital Natives are Reshaping the American Dream (Prometheus Books, 2019), she describes how it has altered the landscape of love and romance in the 21st century and reveals how the ways we now look for love are affecting our relationships, our health and our well-being — even the very fabric of society.
“Instead, it becomes all about experience.” The result, Albright argues, is that people find themselves lonely or anxious without knowing why.“It’s like meeting in a coffee shop but your relationship is on steroids,” Mateen said.“Because you already know so much about each other.” Tinder is popular with Burlington’s college students. He says that last spring it seemed like everyone was on Tinder: “People use it for varying purposes, but I think most people used it for more casual situations,” said Johnson.At UVM, that might mean using the app to invite a fellow student to a party.But in a rural state like Vermont, Tinder has its limits. But back in Vermont, Johnson says it was mostly students, and all in Burlington.
“You couldn’t talk to 300 women in a night in a bar, but with a dating app, you can throw out a thousand hooks and get 300 bites.” Traditions like marriage or buying a home, she says, provide a guiding north star by which people can navigate their lives.